Sides of Love
by Xianthra17
Summary: I feel like shit. This is what happens when I feel like this.
1. Chapter 1

I feel like shit...

* * *

**Left Side of Love**

* * *

_Nii-san,_

_How do I start this?_

_How are you? I hope you are doing fine. Have you eaten? If you haven't, please do so._

_I am trying to act cheery. I don't want to waste your time. I believe I have already done that._

_You are probably just rolling your eyes right now and thinking why are you wasting your time reading this._

_I would like to tell you that I appreciate the time you decided to spend on reading._

_As you continue to read, I am no longer around._

_I wish you all the best in life._

_I hope you will be happier._

_I can't remember when it all started._

_It was like magic._

_Unexpected... unplanned... It just happened._

_I fell in love with you..._

_Everything was perfect._

_Eversince I was young, my world revolved around you._

_I looked up to you... you were always my hero.. my life... my everything._

_I haved admired you in a way I never knew was possible. Completely... fully... irrevocably... selflessly..._

_Because of you, I wanted to become a better man._

_I wanted to be worthy for you._

_As the days went by, the perfect became even more perfect._

_I laugh at that thought, is there such a thing like perfect perfection?_

_But despite the happiness, I started to grow worried._

_I have never been this happy in my life._

_I was afraid that all this has a price._

_I was correct._

_Loving you had a price._

_But I wanted to take the risk. I have no one to blame but myself._

_But no regrets... trust me, I enjoyed everything while it lasted._

_But I was a complete coward._

_Instead of fighting what I felt, I turned my back at you._

_I am weak._

_Guilt started to pile up, how the hell can I explain this longing I have with my own kin?_

_What if you found out and ridicule me?_

_I was afraid of rejection..._

_All my life I have been a pessimist._

_I endured the silence and continued to let my feelings grow._

_But I reached my own limits._

_I cannot do this anymore._

_I cannot find it in my heart to accept that you would never be mine._

_I guess I will be alone - forever._

_Before I leave, I wanted to tell you this._

_I love you, Itachi._

_I have loved you from the very start of my existence..._

_... and I will never love anyone else like the way I have loved you._

* * *

Sasuke was so stupid. He could have told him, he would listen. It would never have reached this point.

"Uchiha-san..." being called back to reality broke the trance Itachi was in. He looked up to face the man clad in a pale blue uniform.

"Yes?" he said. His voice sounded broken.

"We will be taking him to the morgue. Will you ride with us?" the man asked.

Itachi shook his head. "No. I will just follow you from behind." he said in almost a whisper.

The man nodded and left Itachi. The rest of the team hovered over. Picking the evidences, wiping the blood... and lastly taking the body away.

Itachi looked as the stretcher carried his brother's lifeless body.

Itachi's fingers crushed the paper in his hand.

He felt his chest gasping for air.

His vision started to blur

"Sasuke, why?" he whispered as the tears left his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Right Side of Love**

* * *

_Sasuke,_

_Why?_

_I guess it's useless for me to ask this to you._

_You have left me, damn you!_

_You never told me._

_Why Sasuke? Was I too difficult to approach?_

_Was I too complex for you to understand?_

_I have loved you, dammit!_

_I worshiped you._

_The ground you trod upon were precious to me._

_Were you too blind to see?_

_I took care of you, not because of obligation..._

_I did it to be with you. To make sure that you will be mine._

_Everytime you looked at me, I saw a glimpse of heaven in your eyes._

_I have loved you from the moment you were born._

_The heavens answered my prayers and gave me you._

_You were my happiness Sasuke._

_If you have never noticed it, I smiled only for you._

_My laughter were fueled by your delightful chortle._

_I always wanted to be with you._

_I watched you sleep, God knows I did... every night._

_I loved watching you breathe... hearing your heart beat..._

_It was magical for me, Sasuke._

_I could never explain the feeling..._

_How I fought my urges to touch you... kiss you... and call you mine._

_I have so many plans in life and all of them included you._

_You could have given me a hint Sasuke._

_I may be smart in many things..._

_But in love, I am a novice,,,_

_Probably because I loved no one but you..._

_I too was afraid of rejection, Sasuke._

_I was afraid that you might not want me._

_I didn't know how you would react if I confessed._

_Maybe I have no one to blame too but myself._

_I was probably to blind to see that you wanted me too._

_I thought I was that transparent._

_So many what ifs... but all so very useless now..._

_But I believe I too can make a difference._

_I can be strong for you._

_If our destiny was not in this world, then it may be there._

_There where the skies won't cease to smile and gray never exists._

_Where you and I can be together._

_I will follow you._

_I love you Sasuke..._

_... please wait for me..._

* * *

Itachi folded the ivory paper and placed it in an envelope and pocketed it.

He adjusted his tie as he looked at himself on the mirror.

His eyes were red from crying, there were deep circles around his eyes. Anyone who knew him could tell that he was grieving for his brother.

Itachi silently walked towards his car and made his way to the cemetery.

He reached his destination and saw Sasuke's bronze coffin up front. They were going to cremate the body after the final blessings. Sasuke always informed him that he wanted that.

Each step was so heavy that he wondered if he can ever make it beside Sasuke's casket.

All eyes were on him as he moved to the front. He followed through the ceremony like he was expected to - robotic... cold... silent.

When the ceremony was over. Itachi took the paper out of his breast pocket... the one he carried heavily on his chest all this time...

He slipped it in Sasuke's casket before he was carried off to the furnace. Tears started to flow from Itachi's eyes.

But little did they know the true reason behind those tears.

He just didn't loose his brother... He lost his everything... he lost his only chance of love.

As Itachi watched the box disappear and flames started to engulf everything.

Sasuke will soon get his message...

He placed his hand in his pocket and felt the hard metal brush his fingertips.

He smiled inwardly...

_... I am coming Sasuke..._


End file.
